No Longer Felt Hurt after Saying “Thank You!”

My husband and I work for the same company, but ten years ago, he was sent to Mainland China, and I to America.

In order to offer a different educational environment to my son and daughter, I brought them to the US to study. At work, I was always very attentive, and I was very proud of my management of the factory. The delivery was on time, and I got along well with my colleagues. But one day, my boss asked me with a serious face to go to her office. I tried to remember if I had done anything wrong recently. I didn’t think so, so I was calm when entering her office. As soon as I got in, she told me, “You never report the production progress, never communicate with me; you are not flexible, have no desire to innovate…” Many negative comments came into my ears. 

At that moment, I didn’t agree with what she said, but I couldn’t defend myself. Finally, my boss set up a deadline and told me that she would find a manager to teach me how to do my job if I still don’t improve. Coming back to my seat, I pretended that nothing had happened, but I felt shocked inside as if I had been hit by waves upon waves of tsunami. I wondered if I was really that incompetent. Later, I used what I learned at Tai Ji Men; I adjusted my respiration to calm myself down. Then I examined myself. It’s true that I got along with the colleagues, but I was afraid to discuss things with my boss, so I would avoid her as possible as I could. I didn’t communicate with her enough. That’s why my boss only gave me a passing score, and I suddenly understood what others had thought of my behavior.

After work, I went to Tai Ji Men to practice qigong, and I also talked with other Tai Ji Men members while we were having tea. A member happened to share that everyone is like a funnel, and doing good deeds is like adding things to the funnel. Our defects are like holes in the funnel. If we don’t correct our flaws, it’s just like having a big hole in it, which would lead to the leaking of our blessings. If we don’t improve ourselves, we can’t keep the merits that we have accumulated. Therefore, if I don’t rectify my weaknesses my boss pointed out, then no matter how hard I work, others can’t see or appreciate it. In fact, that is what my master Dr. Hong teaches us—we have to stop the evil and spread the good at the same time. And that is also the two sides of Yin and Yang.

Afterwards, other Tai Ji Men members also reminded me to thank my boss for pointing out my shortcomings. The next day, I summoned up my courage and thanked my boss for her expectations for me. My boss was a bit surprised and reminded me about other things. I replied, “Yes, I’ll definitely improve myself.” It’s amazing that I became really calm and no longer felt hurt after expressing my thanks to my boss. I did let it go.

by Sun, Ching-Ming, Tai Ji Men Dizi